Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Who said only the Scots were tight?

Everyone loves their yearly bonus don't they, and the Civil Service is of course no different. Back in May we learned how the Home Office, which the Home Secretary had described as "not fit for purpose" some months previously, managed to pay out £3.5m in bonuses to its staff who had officially been labelled as crap by their boss. God knows how much they'd get if they'd actually been any good.

Such generosity from a Scot (were we playing around with cultural stereotypes (I bet someone calls me racist for that)) is a surprising thing of course, but I never realised that the Welsh might actually be trying to steal that label from their Celtic brothers.* You see, unlike the Home Office where staff were paid huge bonuses for being rubbish, in the Welsh Office they paid staff crappy bonuses for being, well, one must presumed good because they've not be labelled otherwise.

In fact, in the last three financial years, only three members of the sixty strong staff in the Welsh Office have actually received a bonus at all. The total cost of those bonuses before tax? £862.30 (no I've not made a mistake with the decimal point placement). One of those bonus payment was £362.30 which, presumably (although not actually known) means the other two shared a monkey between them.

Peter Hain, huh? Tight git.

* Obviously I realise that Peter Hain is not really Welsh, therefore to suggest that Welshman are competing for the stereotype of being thrfty tightwads against our Scottish (ex)Home Secretary is completely unfair. Everyone knows they have more in common with Kiwi's anyway. Meanwhile, I, being English, have appallingly bad teeth and cannot handle my beer.

6 comments:

Christopher Glamorgan said...

Thank you for not mentioning coalition talks when referring to Wales. We're all a little tired of the countdown to coalition at the moment.

The potential Labour-Plaid coalition aside, my thoughts are with the Deputy Presiding Officer, Rosemary Butler... How can one woman have so much bad luck?

http://glamorganshire.blogspot.com/2007/06/whatever-shall-we-do-with-butler.html

P.S. Remind me never to apply for a job at the Wales Office - not if I want a second holiday this year :-D

Anonymous said...

I doth protest.

The Welsh have only sheep in common with us. And then ours are far better and can be found bringing pleasure around the world. Welsh lamb can be found in...England.

How kiwis differ:
- we play rugby
- we are of scottish descent and the rightful heirs to the title of tightest gits (witness our pride in fitting 10 NZers into a bedsit in Earls Court)
- OUR accent is only MILDY funny
- if we had a prince of New Zealand, he would enjoy spending time in NZ, rather than head north to Australia all the time
- we are physically distant from England
- we spend at least 5 years of our lives living in London, maybe even dropping sprogs
- we are quite content taking your boring jobs like barman or banker.

dizzy said...

Go on then, say "pen".


NO! I said say "pen" not "pin"

Croydonian said...

No, getting a Kiwi to refer to a band led by Marti Pellow is much more entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Dizzy, visit knizilind for uxcellunt fush and chups. You cin thin stay in a hotel and sleep in a bid.

Vury witty, croydonian.

Hiv you mit our minister for edgakashun? She is not the minister for pleece.

This post sux. Which comes right after five.

Okay, so our accent is a bit gay. And it is infuriating that in trying to mock a Welshman, I sound like I'm from the Punjab.

guido faux said...

Flash when I read that aloud it sounded Sth Efricn.