Letter to my 16 year old self

Iain Dale has tagged me so I thought I would oblige.

Dear Phil

Don't be thinking I'm about to give you sage advice or tips that might change your future, that would create a paradox and actually it's impossible to do because this letter has already been read by me in the past, your present, as it was destined to be. Has your head exploded yet with that thought? Don't worry, smoke a little more pot and it will become so self-evidently obvious that you'll wonder why everyone doesn't get wasted now and then.

Anyhow, you're 16 at the moment and wondering what you want to do or be in life. Don't worry about it, you'll be wondering that for at least the next 17 years and probably longer. You see, you're one of those people that coasts through life rather than being driven towards goals - don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't worry about money, you'll earn more than enough one day.

Likewise don't worry about school. You're an "I can't be arsed to try straight B student" and you'll be just as successful, if not more so, than any of your peers. You'll do it with the added advantage of not really having tried hard and enjoyed yourself along the way - it may get a little hazy in your memory though, if you ever get the choice between a Silver Dollar and a Mitsubishi go for the latter, although you'll probably know that already when it happens.

I'm not saying that you won't have regrets of course, you will, but rest assured by the time you get to my age you'll be more than happy with your situation. The regrets are an essential part of that little journey you're going to go on. Changing things so you have less would just be silly because they're what make you what you are.

You'll probably think I'm keeping things from you and to be honest I am, that's because I can't change them from happening and they will be hard to deal with but you will deal with it. Trust me. If I could give you a tip though, try to pick up and learn a bit of Italian. It will help you in the longer term although you'll begin to learn it one day anyway.

Good luck and enjoy

Phil

P.S. She is coming out of the house behind you with a rolling pin and it's going to hurt.

P.P.S. They really are following you but they're an anti-terrorist unit and not who you think they are. You'll laugh about it one day.

As per usual I won't tag anyone in particular and will just invite anyone to write one and then link to it in the comments.